Prisoner

I am a prisoner here. The doors are open wide and there are no guards to stop me and still i am a prisoner. I look at this world through the windows , holding tight the iron bars , i used to extent my hands as far as i could, To feel the sun shine , some times the rain. Some times i hope if a butterfly could come and sit on my palms. I wish i could walk out through the doors to go out, to bend over the flowers, which smile at me everyday,to kiss them, to smell life. But who is stopping me from that if it's not myself?

"The Only limitation in our life is the one we create , believe and nourish within our own minds"

The race

 On a fine morning i started to run ,A Marathon. I didn't know i was ready for this but I had to do it any way, The world around me was running and in that flow , into the depths of that stream i too fell. I dint find any log to grab to, take a deep breath or to rest , some times i had to swim with the stream sometimes against it . My hands were tired my legs were swollen But i couldn't stop doing what i am doing , I didn't know the purpose of my actions but i only knew i couldn't give up.
  Probably i will never know the purpose of my life nor why i am doing what i am doing, may be this is how life is. May be after taking all those pain my journey ends up in the depths of the river i have fallen to, Or may be this is the purpose of my life, to run this race, To be a race horse, Does the beast know why it is running?

The only race you have to win is the race against yourself
 unknown

My greatest fear

The sky is getting dark.With the heavy wind, the storm clouds are getting close and now they are just a hand away. I wish I could out run it,to reach home safely, but the wind is not helping nor the cold droplets of rain.

  Some times you will be left bewildered by the nature, by how it conspires against you. to feel that your life isn't your hands. terrorized by the thunder storm, the  lighting , its pompous vigor and destructive affinity, hitting very close to you, missing you by fraction ,not by mistake but to tell you that your life is just my mercy, a pittance from me

  The cold shower has started, I am drenched, i am shivering and I am far far away from where i am meant to be, I don't wish to get into some shades for the rain to pass, i want to stand in it , i want to feel its cold, i want to feel the frightening sound of the thunder, and i know that the lightning may flow through my nerves, but i want to feel it. I will face all my fears before I reach my destiny.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"

Franklin D. Roosevelt

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The Lord is my shepherd

what ever that's in front of me,I feel it to be a  huge gigantic formidable mountain. I wonder how it can be a scourge and equally inspirational at the same moment. I wish i could put the impression of my feet at its zenith. to feel that calm breeze that nobody has felt before, for the first time with all its freshness. to view the panorama of the vision that i haven't yet seen. But the journey i guess will  be a hard one. I dont have a Sherpa guide to conquer this Everest .
       All i believe I have is God the almighty to push me forward, I dont know which path is the right one, I dont know what all evil is waiting for me around the corner.I believe which ever path i take what ever that i do in this journey He will surely make it the right one. Even if i fall down from a cliff i know  that, till that last moment i have done everything in my capacity. every inch and the last drop of the god given gifts ,the elixir of life, to achieve what i believe is the right one

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.He maketh me lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness .Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me.thy rod and thy staff they comfort me":psalms 23

A Beast

 What is this powerful thing called mind? Is it the brain or is it some unknown entity? I know my mind is not me, it is way more powerful than me, like a magnificent beast unleashed from the cage it meanders through the narrow paths i have never seen before, the road i would be terrified to take , But the mind is just not that coward as me nor it is nobody's slave. Its a true free spirit just out of reach of my imaginations and no imagination can hold it back
But what if i could tame that dark black horse, put it in shackles ,making it my servant rather than being an obedient retainer of it. To sit on top of it and to travel swiftly to those lands that i haven't traveled before .
Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.

Swami Vivekananda

And i found myself in a dark tunnel

i can feel the railway lines touching my legs .. i  stroll forward, then stumbling down in the dark. i am terrified by this solitude. but to wait here alone is foolishness , come what may happens later i should move forward. i hope that i will find a light on the way. I dont know may be its the head light of a train coming down at me with all its might, to just take me down or may be its a candle light and in that faint light I may find a pair of beautiful sparkling eyes looking at me, i dont know ..! And i will never know if i sit here in this dark

  what ever future has in store for me I should take a chance

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Thomas A. Edison

the day i doubted

I thought today to give up and to do something else, but why to give up now, when you are trying your best?
probably William said was true
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt"

i will walk forward with my goal. I may fall down , i may stumble, people may step on me
, but then i will crawl and will surely finish what i have started , i will cry violently if i have to , i will hurt myself badly , but i will never give up.

Believe you can and you're halfway there.

Theodore Roosevelt