A monster

people want to believe 

they have destroyed a monster

but a giant may look monstrous outside

but who knows its mind

not the people who are afraid

they keep him too far to know what he is

the world will eagerly believe the fables they spread

And mothers will tell stories of this monster 

when their children fail to eat

but who will believe 

he will only play with them

he don't know to keep grudge 

nor to be bitter at the people

who threw the stones

This world has illtreated him, 

for what ? they don't know

And still at the
top of the mountain

he stand smiling at them

I feel alone!

 I feel alone

You cant feel it but i am

hide and seek in time

 Lets play hide and seek in time

And jump to the child once we were

Come and catch me—
But don’t take me anywhere,
Leave me in it.

I don’t say it was easy ,
But I know somebody cared there
When I cried.

here i cry because 

nobody cares if i cry

 

Regret about the choices we made

 Regret about the choices we made

For many years it was something that had always hurted me, I used to think what if I have took a different road, would it have taken me somewhere happier, why I chose this one with despair and sorrow, It kept on poking every day and the weekends were awful. I was depressed and hurted and to hurt myself i would go for long runs, i would keep on pushing to a point that would make me suffocate for air, running in the rain was something i loved, so that it would give me the freedom to cry, I found out that no bodily pain could hurt when your mind is distressed. Running was the medicine i had for passive depression i was felling into, i knew i couldnt keep on running to cure this feeling, but the long solo time i had during the run took me to deep thought, it was the most soulful solo thing I have ever done, it was a meditation in its own way. The endorphins did a magical effect and the runners high was real, and at some point i started to think this -out of the countless permutation and combination of choices i foresaken for the one which place me here today, i chose it and why? The answer seemed to be clearer this time when the mind was freed from the clouds of self doubt. This one is the only reality I have, everything else is just a manifestation of the mind of could have beens which never existed. But this answer was not enough, i needed something to hold to, to concretely believe that this is the best choice i have ever made, and for that i needed a miracle. You dont need miracles in your life to believe in miracles, we have read stories about disasters and countless narratives people shared about how their last minute choice saved them from a disaster, how a last minute cancelation of ticket made sure they never took that trip, some say it as the work of a guardian angel,If you call that miracle dont you think that miracle just happened in your life too, what ever choices you ever made in your life, they made sure that you were never close to that disaster.The point i am making is simply this,you may think you have unknowingly chosen a path in your life but out of the possible countless millions of path available you chose this because deep down inside the subconscious mind (guardian angel)you know this is the only path were your time line has longetivity, everything else you would never know what would have happened along the way,This path may not be easy, or pretty or great but this is the only path were you exist.The thought about mortality is an eye opener a perspective shifter. To think the worse in every other possibilities of life will allow you to love this one more, how bad it seems it is.

To my daughter

 All those years wondering and failing to understand why?

But once I saw your eyes ,

Like the sun on the dawn breaking from the horizon.

Everything looked clear

All those pain I had I would have taken with a smile

If I knew all those roads lead to you.

 you are what that gives meaning to this vast ocean of absurdness

Which we call  life

And you are the  only reason the sun shall shine again for me

I may be a million things tomorrow

But Being your father is the only living I know

Everything else is mere existence."

A Teacher

 If you measure the success of a teacher based on how fat the pay cheque is then probably ninety percent of them would fall short . A teachers success should be evaluated based on how much lives he or she  have transformed, but this being immeasurable and arbitrary no body will see it, but some will experience it and that some will come to you to tell how much you mean to them , I call that success.

Imagine a mountain cliff and you are told that if you go beyond it then there is a serene landscape a dream land called success waiting for you, then you will look for the rope hanging from the cliff. somebody should go before you so that you could get a rope and make your climb easy.  will you be remembering him while using the rope?. and if you climb up and then at the end of the rope you see that there is big rock protruding outside and the top is still a hand far away from your reach , you will stay there confused and perplexed not knowing what to do, but then you see a hand coming down from the top ready to grab you, and you let him pull you up to the top, so that you could take off from there in search of your dream land, and as you move forward you realize that the person who pulled you up is still waiting there for the next person to come. He had the opportunity and time to look for the dream land but he chose to stay so that many could reach where they want to. probably many could sleep peacefully in their dream land , but this person will never be able to close his eyes knowing that many are in need of him at the bottom of the  cliff tip.

Letters to my love 1

 The day you were born, I was afraid to hold you in my arms

you were so small, but the doctor said you are chubby

still i was afraid, I wonder can something so small can be

so terrifying and so beautiful at the same time,

It took me a week to gain courage to hold you in my arms

and three months to carry you around

but since then I have never let you down 

never ever from my heart

but still i will give you a nice pinch when you bite me with your little teeth...