This is not a story . But something that happened years before. Some years ago I used to be a revolutionary. The kings soldiers where constantly looking for me to capture me and execute, so i was forced to live under the disguise of a shepherd in a small village called nazrath in the outskirts of kerala. Being a shepherd was not an easy job, I had to deal with the physical and psychological aspects of all the sheeps that i was rearing. Every day each of my ward come with a new problem, some had emotional breakdown, some with mental trauma from the terrible nightmares and fears about the predators they had heard about, some have eating disorder, and some with broken hearts.
Among them there was this fellow, A black sheep among the whites. His problem attracted my attention immediately. It was on a friday evening that he came down to me and shared his problem. He told he didnt belong to this place. At first i thought he was caught up with the typical indian misconception about the dark skin tone and the inherent inferiority complex that manifests in an individual. But it disappeared from my mind as he talked. He didnt want to spend the rest of his life just eating and gnawing. Which i thought was a wonderful way to live, but thats not what shocked me, It was what he told me next. He said he was not a sheep but a wolf trapped inside the body of a sheep. my first diagnosis was dual personality. A black sheep with personality problems, well thats not rare.
One evening this fellow didnt returned to the stable and i went looking for him , So there he was at the valley of loneliness walking steadily towards the forest, He didnt look afraid to be alone there. I went near him and asked why he decided to leave the herd. He looked into my eyes as if i have disappointed him and said he needs to meet his pack. I knew he was talking about the wolf pack and i knew if he meets the pack then its suicide, But that moment i didnt have the courage to tell him that he was just a sheep but not a wolf. It wasnt dual personality but it was the strong belief that was driving him forward. I told him he wont find the pack in this forest , it would be a five week walk to the next forest to meet his friends. But that didnt foil his journey, he was determined to meet them.
He walked through the rocky terrain , and ran above the meadows , swam the river but he never stopped, not even for food. Hunger and thirst didnt hindered his journey. some times it was getting harder for me to catch up with him.week by week went by and he turned so weak but he didnt quit. I could see far away a small skeletal figure moving forward with a woolen blanket. And finally oneday he saw the wolf pack. He slowly limbed towards them and laid down infront of them with face kept high. There was a motor racing going inside my heart. The suspense was killing me. And one of that moment i saw the wolves smelling him and with the gentle breeze they drifted into the innerforest.
It took almost ten minutes for me to reach near him. There he was lying in the mud with head kept high smiling and eyes closed. I know he was now at peace
Who was he really? was he a sheep or was he a wolf? I dont know the exact answer for this question, But i surely know he died as a wolf.......
