Regret about the choices we made

 Regret about the choices we made

For many years it was something that had always hurted me, I used to think what if I have took a different road, would it have taken me somewhere happier, why I chose this one with despair and sorrow, It kept on poking every day and the weekends were awful. I was depressed and hurted and to hurt myself i would go for long runs, i would keep on pushing to a point that would make me suffocate for air, running in the rain was something i loved, so that it would give me the freedom to cry, I found out that no bodily pain could hurt when your mind is distressed. Running was the medicine i had for passive depression i was felling into, i knew i couldnt keep on running to cure this feeling, but the long solo time i had during the run took me to deep thought, it was the most soulful solo thing I have ever done, it was a meditation in its own way. The endorphins did a magical effect and the runners high was real, and at some point i started to think this -out of the countless permutation and combination of choices i foresaken for the one which place me here today, i chose it and why? The answer seemed to be clearer this time when the mind was freed from the clouds of self doubt. This one is the only reality I have, everything else is just a manifestation of the mind of could have beens which never existed. But this answer was not enough, i needed something to hold to, to concretely believe that this is the best choice i have ever made, and for that i needed a miracle. You dont need miracles in your life to believe in miracles, we have read stories about disasters and countless narratives people shared about how their last minute choice saved them from a disaster, how a last minute cancelation of ticket made sure they never took that trip, some say it as the work of a guardian angel,If you call that miracle dont you think that miracle just happened in your life too, what ever choices you ever made in your life, they made sure that you were never close to that disaster.The point i am making is simply this,you may think you have unknowingly chosen a path in your life but out of the possible countless millions of path available you chose this because deep down inside the subconscious mind (guardian angel)you know this is the only path were your time line has longetivity, everything else you would never know what would have happened along the way,This path may not be easy, or pretty or great but this is the only path were you exist.The thought about mortality is an eye opener a perspective shifter. To think the worse in every other possibilities of life will allow you to love this one more, how bad it seems it is.