Does it worth it

i keep looking for you, the faces passing by i know its not you but i might come across you , walking against me with your friends and you will move those hairs that has fallen on your face to the side with your hands, laughing at the jokes your friend might have cracked and then i will watch you flowing along with that crowd far far away, but i wont follow you , but i shall keep looking for you in the opposite direction you have walked and then again and again i will see you walking past me,repeating those sequence like in an infinite loop but why i am not following you, do you wonder why? because one day you might realise my face, and you might ask yourself why you are seeing my face repeatedly over time, you will gaze into my eyes with curiosity, your eyes will ask me , who are you? then i shall come after you taking all those steps that you had taken imprinting my foot print on yours , you might look back at me each and every second out of curiosity and when the curiosity dies you will stop looking back at me, for you know even if you dont see me following. i will follow you to the end of this road, at the end when you look back , you are surprised to see many behind you ,only then you realise you havent looked back for long that you have forgotten my face, and when you try remembering my face, the people will walk past you looking at you and you will see me in them but wont realise thats me, i will keep walking hoping that i might hear a hello from the back , and when i am far , too far to hear that hello, i will forbid myself to look back, because i learned that it doesnt worth it.....

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we are comrades

even if the enemy is imaginary the fight is real
For we are in a war zone
Nobody remembers those who succumbed
who fell or quit before the fight
but the martyrs and the triumphers
who live immortal in their minds
fear not when you see your comrades fall
not when blood drips as tears from their eyes
They had fell not for you to stop
or mourn in their departure
but they leave the burden on your shoulders
as you take the road to eternity
they live in you to see the prideful crowd
For they are the martyrs who made you triumph

the hero in the sky

Where are these clouds running away
but I see one still
letting all pass by him
as if he is waiting here for someone

The wind is heavy, yet how come
He takes his place so still
and raining heavily on a chill drawn day
and yet all the other children's of sky running away


What might he be feeling now to watch all his brothers moving away from him, and he cant move a finger, to freeze in this cold night and then rain and rain and then disappear like he never existed more i thought about him ,i started to feel the coldness of the wind , Its not rain that been falling from him it must be his tears, its not thunder thats been banging it must be his gasps, i went towards him the closer i got it felt that he is int sad, i saw his smile flashing with the thunder which i thought was his sobs , but rather it was his laughters. I looked at him and asked, arent you sad that your brothers are leaving, and you are here alone in this chilly wind. He looked at me and replied
If you start running when the wind becomes heavy, then there wont be a time you stop running, the wind is always heavy and they chose to leave and i chose to stay, and this rain is not my tears as you might imagine, but its my sweat , my perspiration to keep me here. I may die this night , but before i go you will see the colorful crown over my head, The  rain or this rainbow are as good as nothing to me, but for the people down there , for the children down there it means something, once you have the ability to see beyond yourself, you will realise that what ever you are where ever you are, there is still a lot you can do for others, and those who could help others even in their peril, they are called heroes , and i want to die here in this night as a hero, not as a coward who ran away when the wind got heavy ,
when i walked back i asked myself what am I?

A stranger

you dont have to cry anymore little one,
  i find you, you are not alone,
 I know home, far away where these tracks meet
, i shall walk you there,
  dont you see it far and far,
where the sun sets these tracks meet
Mother is waiting for you to come with teary eyes
And papa might be in his seats
looking away into the sky, thinking about your return,
 So lets walk with that weary slippers of yours
 as worn as your mind, ready to break any time now,
you dont have to hide them nor your tears
for i am not here to judge but to take you home
are you afraid of this stranger
who walks  you through this lonely track lying close
in search of their meeting place
where he claims the home is?

ocean

One day if its time to sleep
I will happily choose your bosom
For the sun chooses the sea
But not the river to set
And to me you are that vast and deep
Ocean , that lashes outside
but calm and warm
with the undercurrents
crying inside only for me to see
and as i sink deep into your heart
i am not afraid of the tides
For you are the mother ,
you are the woman
swelling with love and care'
And i know i am safe in your depths

My Final Act

For every artist its not the money or the fame but its the applaud , its the cheers that keeps him going on the stage, yes i am on the stage, the light is so intense, i cant see anything on the other side, but I can hear the audience chattering and cheering for my act. its the charge that keeps me alive even when my batteries are down and i havent stopped it since i entered into this stage, i am addicted to it, I dont know whether there have been any other mono act that drew this much crowd, but how much crowd is out there? my curiosity always tried to peep out of this light , but never managed to catch a glimpse of whats out there, So i kept going and going even when my legs hurt, i didn't stop, but i was getting tired day by day, i really felt if some one noticed, someone brought me a glass of water, some one told me its ok to step down, but nobody came and after sometimes, i stopped hearing the cheers, it was there ofcourse but i couldnt understood the way i understood it before, does it worth it, i slowly sat on the stage , i expected the crowd to go mad at me for stopping, but again i heard them cheering, i was confused . Perplexed I was when i got down the stage, and there i saw none but a recorder that been playing the cheers again and again. For all these years what i did for these people or those  who i thought that existed, it didnt mattered, my act went in vain, my tears on the stage , my laughter, my anger, it all have dissolved in the air, but not in anybodies mind.  I walked through the empty corridor hoping that someone will come opposite to me with a smile on his face recognizing it was me who played the act, but i know deep down somewhere i have been fooled and that knowledge is a painful one, but it hurts, even more, realizing that i didn't  know why they fooled me ..........

Pursuit

I was out for a stroll, there was nobody on the way and it seemed odd to be alone in an otherwise busy street. Where did everybody go? I kept wondering how the world became a lonely park, with no kids to play in the merry go round or the slides or the swings, but just me . I can play in each and every ride as long as i wish for nobody is waiting for their turn , but what's the fun in that. whats the fun in not fighting for your place in the ride, whats the fun in not pushing the person in front of you or not been pushed around, and whats the fun in not getting back at them to take revenge. The world seems so still , 

I thought i was alone, but i wasn't,I was terrified when i saw this Ferocious Dog that was staring at me in the corner, blood was dripping from his mouth and his eyes were red, its black fur just added its feral look. O god he might have eaten all the other people, i couldnt think of anything other than running. But he was following me in each and every steps, slowly but never out of sight, his tongue was outside and blood dripping and its muscles jumped in air as he kept pursuing after me, i ran for hours i watched sun going down and coming back, the rain was cold, but not as cold as the winter snow, the dog dont seems to end his pursuit, Am i been hunted? Of all the people that god could have chosen for me to accompany he found this filthy animal. I was wearing down as the day went by, but the dog  looked fit as a fiddle , 

Why am I running ? there is nobody waiting. there is nothing here. And after years and years of  running i finally stopped, Yes you filthy son a of a dog, the messenger of  death i shall give up myself to you , eat me and end your hunger, i fell into my knees waiting for him, and then he came close and close, and as close he came he looked small and small, and then when he fell into my lap, he looked like a puppy. O god for all these years he was my guardian angel looking after me. I have sinned , you are the one who can judge , but i judged this creature with its looks, i abhorred him, yet he loved .

        In  one of that moment while i was repenting he leaped from my lap, and started running, and i saw his head looking back at me with fear, and then kept on running and as of now i know i am his guardian running behind him not so close but not so far. this might be the punishment god has for me for my transgressions, to hate and to love but never too close or together, but alone