A Teacher

 If you measure the success of a teacher based on how fat the pay cheque is then probably ninety percent of them would fall short . A teachers success should be evaluated based on how much lives he or she  have transformed, but this being immeasurable and arbitrary no body will see it, but some will experience it and that some will come to you to tell how much you mean to them , I call that success.

Imagine a mountain cliff and you are told that if you go beyond it then there is a serene landscape a dream land called success waiting for you, then you will look for the rope hanging from the cliff. somebody should go before you so that you could get a rope and make your climb easy.  will you be remembering him while using the rope?. and if you climb up and then at the end of the rope you see that there is big rock protruding outside and the top is still a hand far away from your reach , you will stay there confused and perplexed not knowing what to do, but then you see a hand coming down from the top ready to grab you, and you let him pull you up to the top, so that you could take off from there in search of your dream land, and as you move forward you realize that the person who pulled you up is still waiting there for the next person to come. He had the opportunity and time to look for the dream land but he chose to stay so that many could reach where they want to. probably many could sleep peacefully in their dream land , but this person will never be able to close his eyes knowing that many are in need of him at the bottom of the  cliff tip.

Letters to my love 1

 The day you were born, I was afraid to hold you in my arms

you were so small, but the doctor said you are chubby

still i was afraid, I wonder can something so small can be

so terrifying and so beautiful at the same time,

It took me a week to gain courage to hold you in my arms

and three months to carry you around

but since then I have never let you down 

never ever from my heart

but still i will give you a nice pinch when you bite me with your little teeth...

A walk along the memory lane

Paul gazed far into the horizon, the sun was starting to disappear into the sea, and the thirteen-year-old mind couldn't comprehend where all the water and the Sun were going, what's there at the end of this sea? Is it a big cliff where the waterfall and the hot burning sun is drenched so that the light disappears and the night starts

Suddenly he was startled by the girl sitting near him in the bus seat, she held his hands tightly as the bus suddenly came to a halt, 

"come its our stop" she shouted enthusiastically

Paul wondered why Sarah was willing to accompany him, she was a tenth-standard student in his school and always showed interest in his talks and stories, she reminded him about someone he knew but couldn't remember who it was, maybe in some other life she was his close kin so he thought. But if it wasn't for Sarah, he wouldn't have taken the bus to see Annah, he wouldn't have the courage to go to her home.

Annah and Paul have known each other since their nursery days. Studied in the same class and sat on the same bench many times, but he never felt like this before, one day in their seventh class suddenly out of nowhere during prayer time he saw her looking at him, when their eyes locked he couldn't breathe it was like a sudden jolt into his belly, he sat down. Maybe she was looking at something else, why would the most beautiful girl in his class have to look at him, he couldn't make sense of what was going on, for the next year Paul was caught in this cat and mouse game. He was too afraid to talk with Annah, Sarah was sure that Annah had a crush on Paul, but Paul wasn't so sure.

As the class ended for the year Paul heard that Annah had taken transfer from the school, After the summer holidays Annah and her parents were relocating somewhere else and that was his last chance to meet her and tell her what she meant for him. Paul approached Sarah and told her he wanted to visit her Annah for one last time, Sarah without even hesitating for a second agreed to go with him.

Sarah pressed the calling bell of the house, it was a small but beautiful house with bougainvillea forming an arc-like entrance into the home, there were trees everywhere, and on the side, there was a garden. Suddenly a man in his mid-forties came near the door,

Sarah looked at Paul and then said to the man "We are close acquaints of Annamma, paulichan and Annamma are classmates. He greeted the duo warmly and received them into the dining room, there were other people sitting in the room, and on the table, there were tea-filled glasses and snacks. Sarah took some snacks but Paul looked around to see Annah. Seeing Paul looking around the man said with a smile

"I have heard a lot about you in the past year, but didn't expect to see you, she would be very happy, come she is in the garden I shall take you.

Sarah watched them both walking away sipping her cup of tea. A septuagenarian sitting next to her placed her hands on Sarah's hands and the other hand pointing in the direction Paul went, she gently asked

"Isn't it Paul"

Sarah replied," Yes granny, how do you know him?"

"That birthmark on his forehead, Annah always talked about it, she thought it was like the mark on her cat's face, beautiful! For the past year, she didn't have much to talk about, for Alzheimer's has drowned her memory" There were tears in Annamma's sister's eyes when she talked

Hearing it Sarah jumped "What! Paul Achaachan is also suffering from Alzheimer's, he hasn't talked to anybody for the past few months, but the previous week when he saw Annamma's obituary, he couldn't stop talking about his seventh class, probably he only remembers that"

"well that can't be a coincidence, Aannah was talking about the same period only, I wonder what they would have shared if for once they could have sat somewhere and talked" exclaimed Annah's sister

Somewhere in the garden, Paul sat a little far from Annah's grave. His eyes were still as if he could see her spirit, he sat there like the thirteen years they were looking at each other, fearing to go near and talk, but if eyes could converse then they had talked enough for a lifetime

DAWN OF THE LOVE

There is so much i want to tell you

but this life isnt enough

there is a lot to see 

but i dont want to see it alone

Come with me 

we shall walk , 

whats there to rush

for there is a life time ahead

and the lives to follow

tell me you love me

again one more time

for it always feels afresh

and making me want to

wake up fresh

again one more time

for you are the hope

that breaks with the dawn

the last journey

when you look into those eyes, you know there is n't any place in this world you should be right now but here, because the whole world is here, in front of you, in those brown round eyes, and right now I can see myself inside it, is this unbearable lightness of being is called love? or is this grief, for i know I wont be inside it forever, but this feeling, to know that it wont last forever make it more alive , so should i be happy for this moment or sad for the later tomorrows, do i need to be sad right now, no i dont have to, there will be number of years waiting in tomorrows to fall into grief in these memories, but there is only one today to be happy .I call this poem the last journey
 the last journey
" we can take that hike we always talked
backpacking through the wilderness of the mountains
lets choose the roads never treaded before
asking directions to the shadows of strangers
and the skeletons of those sleeping in the paths
and go see places unseen holding our hands
gaping our mouth in awe and then laughing at each other
For the funny faces that we made
and make memories for a lifetime ,before we part ways
as you take that last flight , in the midnight of a cold december
I shall hold your waist close to mine and then
press my lips into yours, and then walk away
not looking back, I want to but I cant
For I am not good at goodbyes

Love and Religion

Do I qualify to talk about love , this, my journey is in search of that answer. Whatever you are going to read may sound unreal sometimes, so is love, it can be beyond the reality that we can perceive but once you open your heart and see beyond my words, you will realize that it is real, it has flesh , it has blood, pain happiness and it is as real as you and me

It was on a heavy rain that i walked with her, I couldn't see the road nor the trees on my left or the river on my right, not because of the heavy rain , but i couldn't take my eyes off her beautiful face.Even in that cold damp day , i could feel heat running into my nerves flowing from her body to mine . It was not love i had for her , it I called divine.

But precious is not meant to stay with us forever, as i watched on that day she slipped into the river and disappeared in front of my eyes. What can I do in that moment. There isn’t much we can do sometimes in life, but rather be a spectator and the world will do the performance , you can just sit down on the chairs and watch it, and cry or laugh depending on what the world will play for you, whatever you do at that moment it doesn't matter , your script is written and you cant change it. You may take different road but all leads to the same place and that day I was just a spectator when the Idol I worshiped and loved slipped into river and washed away in front of my eyes. But I couldn't let things just slip away , I am not that person, I know its all written somewhere but till my last breath i shall try to write my own in it. So When i gained consciousness I ran behind her, I ran and ran , she was nowhere to be seen but love will not let me to stop not till she says so, but she wants me to run for her and I did, days turned into nights, rivers turned into seas, rocks into mountains, and plants to trees but my love didn't turned into anything , just plain but love.

if you are a seeker and your heart is pure , then love will never deceit you but will lead to the truth, and my truth was her, and i reached at the banks of a river where I found devotees who was worshiping the goddess whom once was mine, and was rightfully mine. How can I claim back the idol of my temple, i decided to do a crime as i thought to rob my idol from their temple, but how can it be crime if i take something which belongs to me, the world did something unlawful and i only decided to undo it, but will everyone see it that way, Religion can make people blind frantic and Fanatic and my religion was love , and what was theirs?

I was caught on the broad day light trying to steal their goddess , the mob has their own justice, the transgressions on religion they call the heinous of crimes and i was stripped naked in front of her and was whipped with lashes that innumerable, you want to cry but will you cry in front of your love? I wont , It wasn't the lashes that hurt me, but it was the silence of those in powers , doesn't the goddess they devote have the power to stop them, It was godlessness they did and she kept waiting and waiting to raise the sound, but who would hear those voice, its a stone that they are praying to, and stones wont talk, Not even if its their God

As i waited for the inevitable lying naked ,tied to a tree i realized ,the pursuit of love is happiness, but as the journey ends some wounds wont heal and new might always evolve, and yet those wounds will make you feel you are alive

the tide and the shore

How much it seems that we were in love,
 that much we were running away from each other.
Some times she kept roaring and lashing towards me,
 letting me go blind on the vigorous tides of love
that foamed over my sandy skin
and then peeling each and every grain of my body
while she retreated towards her sea,
 Is this the pain of love, if pain is what thats left in loving
 then i want to be in this pain for ever ,
 I dont want to feel numb running away from emotions,
dead on a beach like these sand grains,
 No i want to feel alive on her tides,
  i want to fall deep into her bossom
and then lose myself and to sleep forever in her shell
 and then one day i might become a pearl that she treasures.